Written by: Michael Turner & Christopher Portugal

[Man #1:] Brother, why you wanna do me like that, man? C'mon, lemme buy you a drink, eh?
[Man #2:] Are you sure you can afford it?

[Thes One:]
It was a Friday night, everybody was drinking
The ladies were upset 'cause the breath was stinking
And it won't be long 'til we start to funk
'Cause Double's gonna get drunk, buddy
Thes One's gonna get drunk, buddy
Everybody get drunk, buddy… and, and, and… sha na na!

[Thes One:]
Crack the 40, who's down to get plastered?
I get the party started with the Arrogant Bastard
The homies stay stoned, the wifey get boned
I keep her ass pregnant, drive my drunk ass home
'Cause she likes the beer like I like the brew
Pump the pony keg, refilling my 22
With the ales, pilsner, lager, or the stout
Hops 'til the party stops, I make the people shout
"Call the cops, call his pops, somebody carry him home!"
Royalty at Bev Mo, my party well-known
Got the Full Sail wholesale, not the Duvel
Sometime Chimay, yelling like "Timmy!"
You fellas, keep it Stella, keep it domestic
My big old Fat Tire, time to get reckless
Wherever I'm at, ay-yo, the party's right here
You like Ed Hardy, we like Beer! Rah!

[Double K:] Now who wants a 40? ([Crowd:] We want a 40!)
Who wants a quart? (We want a quart!)
You want a 32? (No!), you want a whole keg? (Yeah!)
Well, leave it up to me to start the party off right
Take shots for your cup, we gonna do it all night
'Cause I like drinking 'til I can't see
And if you're in your right mind, stay away from me
Anything from O.E. to P.B.R.
When it comes to getting drunk, I'm a superstar
Got drunk in Japan (Wah!), drunk in front of my mom
Drunk in front of the Alamo, smoking the bomb
You could feel a little woozy, I earl in your 'cuzi
Threaten to shoot the party up with a toy Uzi
Tell my kidneys and liver, "Your time is near"
You like hanging on Twitter, and we like beer
[Rap sample:] Word!

[Rap sample:] 40-ounce in my lap, and it's cold as hell!
[Rap sample:] C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon…
[Rap sample:] Yeah!
[Rap sample:] C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon…

[Thes One:]
Can't stop, won't stop, drinking on a pop-top
I get drunk 'cause… I get drunk
Because this here's a beer song for dudes who like beer
Yo, you don't like beer? [Both:] Get the fuck out of here!
[Thes One:] No really, man, I really think you should go home
You poured me a beer, and my beverage was all foam and Keystone
The liquor store connoisseur who's well known at the San Franciscan
Looking like "Snake" Plissken, Detroit ghetto blaster, Racer #5
Even Yuengling keep the party alive
Shiner Bock, Rock, and Lost Abbey, Rogue
Lagunitas and what have we, the dude suds savvy
I'm ruthless, crabby, 'til I strap one on in good cheer
I'll fuck you up in beer pong, right here
Yeah, get my twist like New Year's
You like TMZ, we like beer… understand!

[Double K:] (Fucker… yo… hold up…)
When I was 17, I'd asked an old man
To take a couple quarters and buy me a tall can, back then
Is all about 8 Ball, St. Ides, good brew, hanging out with my crew
Sometimes, we'd get the Night Train or the Thunder Chicken
I thought it would pass, the nigga's still sipping
I go hard like when I first wake up (Boing!)
Crack a cold one, and pour that shit in my cup
Now, here comes the madness, the Knight like Gladys
Call me Dynowino, see, I'm the baddest
Word to Cash, this Bud's for you
They should put me with the monkeys down in L.A. Zoo
And you can come see me, for a small fee
Watch me get drunk with my family
You could take it to the bridge, I'll take it to the fridge
Make sure it's real quiet, so I can hear the fizz
When you see me in public, know my bottle is near
Y'all niggas like tight pants, we like beer!
Ha! Ha! Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!

[Thes One:] Beer is what we talking 'bout… you don't stop…

*Important Note: These transcriptions are not verified with P.U.T.S., so there may be errors. We are especially unsure of the greyed-out text. We encourage you to offer your suggestions for lyrics corrections on the site's main page.

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This track appears on the following releases:

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