A Baby

Written by: Michael Turner & Christopher Portugal

[Double K:]
Mr. Portugal, Mrs. Portugal ([Mrs. Portugal:] Yes?)
I have good news, uh... you're both expecting a brand new baby!
How about that?

[Thes One:]
Damn! I mean I'm happy, but I'm real scared
A serious responsibility that we'll share
The doc is saying that she's already a month deep
No more beer and sashimi, blue cheese, enjoy sleep
Try to get a good amount every night
But when she's asleep, I'm awake
Thinking that the bank account's light
Too tight to start a whole darn family
It's time to dig deep, and find the real man in me

([Song sample:]Para te amar a su hora)
[Thes One:] We gotta make it now, dude, my girl is pregnant now
(Para te amar a su hora)
I gotta buckle down, buckle up and hit the town
(Para te amar a su hora)
I gotta get it right, I really wanna make her proud
(Para te amar a su hora)
I'm gonna be a dad?! ([Rap sample:] No mistakes allowed)

[Thes One:]
Driving home from Kaiser, looking out the window
Feeling the clock ticking, she's listening to the radio, laughing
Every song's "baby" this, "baby" that
She's starting to glow, she's starting to show baby fat
She wants to tell her mom, I still think it's too soon
I gotta move my records now, it's gonna be the baby room
What color? What crib?
([Double K:] What brother, you 'bout to be a dad? Word!)
Damn, Double, I'm so happy you glad
Now, we gathering our parents and her brother at the Benihana
"Guess what!"… cheers and beers
Her mother and my mother: man, you couldn't stop the tears
Their happiness made me happy, but I had so many fears
Deep down, I wanna be the best dad
But that means sacrificing, everything I ever had
And I'm just getting to where I think I need to be in life for me
But now it's us three?!
So now it's Babies 'R' Us, and we filling out the registry
She's buying Lansinoh, she's looking for a boppy
We getting Dreft, she getting swelling in her feet
We yelling at each other, we can't agree on a car seat
It's getting hot, the registry at page one of three
We been here since three, and it's still in aisle three
And I don't understand what none of this means
When it doesn't, honestly, I'm feeling overwhelmed
And not becoming me, and look man:

We having a baby, we having a baby?
Damn! We're having a baby, we're having a baby?
We're having a baby, we're having a baby, we're having a baby
Yes, we're having a baby, we're having a baby, we're having a baby
We're having a baby, we're having a baby, we're having a baby
We're having a baby, we're having a baby, we're having a baby
Check it out, ay-yo, we're having a baby, I'm having a baby
She's having a baby, we're having a baby, we're having a baby…
([Thes One, distorted voice:] Car seats, strollers, carriers, diapers, backpacks, play yards, gliders, bassinets, musical soundtrack players, teethers, receiving blankets, bibs, onesies, mittens, beanies, wipes, walkers, Diaper Genie, aspirators, bottles washers, sanitizers, Petty Plushes, breast pumps, ? sleep sacks, Aveeno lotion, bathing mats, big car seats, strollers, carriers, bottles, all of that!)

*Important Note: These transcriptions are not verified with P.U.T.S., so there may be errors. We are especially unsure of the greyed-out text. We encourage you to offer your suggestions for lyrics corrections on the site's main page.


This track appears on the following releases:

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The Next Step Question in the Form of an Answer American Men, Vol. 1
"O.S.T." ...Or Stay Tuned Stepfather
The Om Years Fun DMC Carried Away
Highlighter 12 Step Program American Men, Vol. 2
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